Dirty Sexy Books

1. They don’t have a website

Ah, yes, there’s nothing like starting out this post with the obvious, but I shit you not, there are some authors who don’t have websites.  Linda Howard, don’t try to tell me that you can’t afford one either.  If you want to be a Luddite, fine, go ahead and use whatever tedious, archaic method you want to use to write your books, but have a website no matter what.

2. They don’t have a blog on their website

Some authors hear the word ‘blog’ and they start running for the hills, or they start babbling that they’re way too busy writing books to keep one up.  I’m not talking about some kind of penal commitment here, I’m talking about a once-a-week update on what they’re doing.  It doesn’t have to be an essay folks.  Just share little things, like how you ate half a bag of Oreos while writing last week.  Or talk about your cat.  I don’t care, and the point is, your fans won’t either, but they like to hear from you outside of your books.

3. They bury stuff under a rat’s nest of links

Some people have no business designing websites, but unfortunately most of them do not realize this critical fact.  Adrian Phoenix, I love your books, but I think your website is a red-hot mess.  Several months ago I was trying to promote your new novel, Black Dust Mambo, but I couldn’t find the blurb anywhere on your site.  A more persistent fan finally found it and sent it to me, but that was after I had already published my post.  It should never be that hard to find information about your current titles, or especially your upcoming stuff.

4. They don’t offer link-bait for bloggers

Link-bait is anything that we bloggers can use to drive people to your site.  You should always have an excerpt for each novel, but even better are free novellas that tie-in to your series.  Quizzes, contests, and wallpaper that are updated several times a year also give me a fresh excuse to point to you, even if you haven’t released a new book lately.  You see a theme here, I’m sure, which is that free stuff is particularly good, but it’s not always necessary.  Some authors like Patricia Briggs actually sell stuff like t-shirts, and while she probably doesn’t make money on her goods, it all serves to 1) keep fans happy, and 2) promote her books.

5. They treat their website like a can of Coke instead of a carton of milk

Many authors make the mistake of treating their website like it has an indefinite shelf-life.  Nothing is worse than checking an author site that clearly hasn’t been touched since 2007.  Even if you have a blog, you still need to update your home page regularly, and slap a date on that sucker so I know when you did it.  Nalini Singh does it right if you want to see what I’m talking about.

6. They don’t have a picture of themselves

Look, nobody likes how they look in a picture, but fans will connect with you more readily if they can see your eyes.  It doesn’t have to be on your homepage if that feels weird, but it should be available somewhere on your site.  There’s an added bonus too, that whenever you do an author interview you won’t have to email the blogger any images.  We should be able to snag your author pic and cover images from your site.  On the flip side, it is possible to put up too many pictures of yourself, and if you don’t believe me then I offer Exhibit A.

7. They don’t promote anybody but themselves

Your website is one of your best marketing tools, and so this statement might seem counterproductive, but don’t always talk about yourself.  That’s right, talk about other books, places, and people too.  It’s uncomfortable to visit a site that sells itself too hard, so to avoid that trap, spend some time promoting your favorite authors.  I love to visit Charlaine Harris’s website because she blogs about what she’s reading every few weeks.  Maybe you’re wondering, what if I read something that stinks like a road-kill skunk?  Then preserve your reputation and don’t mention it (let an asshole like me stomp on it), but be sure to give props to the books that you DO like.

8. They don’t play on the vanity of bloggers by linking to their good reviews

This is so easy to do, and so few authors do it.  Just set up a little links page called Reviews where you link to all the good reviews you’ve received.  Bloggers love seeing their name splattered all over the Internet (why do you think we all have such conspicuous blog rolls?), and we love to be acknowledged.  If we see our name on your site it’ll give us warm tingly feelings inside, and if we don’t happen to like your next book so much, we’ll be delicate when we pull your wings off in our next review.  I don’t want to hear any cries about ‘slanting reviews,’ because that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m just saying that a blogger is more likely to be kind and gentle when it comes time to say the hard stuff if they feel some kind of connection to the author.

9. They don’t interact with their fans

I know it sucks, having fans and all, because the little jerks keep sending emails and *gasp*, they expect replies.  Just do your best, and you have my permission to ignore the persistent and/or creepy ones.  If you have a blog (see #2) try to respond to a few of the comments on each post.  You can be like Charlie Huston and blog with the comment feature disabled, but only if you’re a well-known, and well-loved dick.  Most authors can’t pull that off.

10.  They don’t offer a high-resolution image of their covers

As a blogger, this is my number one, I-hate-you-for-making-my-life-difficult, nitpick.  I can’t promote your book using those tiny, crappy images on Amazon.  If that’s all you’ve got on your website, then get your publisher to email you the cover art images.  You see, when I take a tiny image and blow it up, it turns into a grainy mess of crap that makes me look bad, and more importantly, it makes your book look bad.