I turn 35 this year – not right now, later this summer – and it occurred to me that if I were a heroine in a romance novel, I’d be considered well past my prime. That thought depressed me. Then I realized that if I were the hero, I’d be right in my prime. That thought depressed me too.
Unlike men, a woman’s perceived desirability is directly tied to her age, in what I assume is a holdover from when fertility was the highest prize a woman possessed. Thanks to good food, good medicine, and women’s rights, we’re well past those days, but the taint of old lingers on, and the older a woman gets, the less attractive she becomes.
A man is like a can of Coke, with an indefinite shelf life. Women, on the other hand, come with expiration dates. Our ‘sell by’ stamp becomes obvious as we get wrinkles, gray hair, and a small belly pooch after having kids.
What puzzles me is that women have stood for this for so long. Do we really think we’re less attractive, less worthy, and less sexy after we pass the child-bearing years? What a load of stinky bull crap! It’s not like we go all spotted and mushy like an overripe banana after our twenties (okay, maybe a little), but that’s no reason to chuck us in the garbage. The ripe ones make the sweetest banana bread after all.
Sure, we’re making small inroads against this notion that older = expired, but not nearly enough in my opinion. By all means, let’s go support Sex and the City 2 when it comes out (even though part of me thinks it’ll suck), but I’m more interested in seeing books with mature heroines. I’m worried because I know damn well that publishers are chasing stories with young heroines, and only top shelf writers can occasionally muscle in a story with an older female protagonist.
Sadly paranormal romances and urban fantasies do nothing to help this cause. Even when the heroine is ancient, like a vampire or other immortal being, she’s still young, beautiful, and vibrant. It’s a great fantasy, and I admit to enjoying it, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
I would like to read more stories about women who are widowed, women who have grown children, women who never started a traditional family, and women who are past their child-bearing years but at their sexual peak (oh yeah baby!). I’ve only read a handful of stories with heroines like these, but they’re among the best I’ve read.
Here is my shamefully short list of stories featuring 35+ heroines*. I’ve pulled excerpts from my reviews. Follow the link to read more.
Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
A lot of laughs are wrung out of this mad-cap adventure romance. The heroine, Agnes, has serious anger-control issues, and she has a nasty habit of attacking burglars and lying fiancés with kitchenware. The hero, Shane, is a professional hitman who walks around quoting famous mafia movies, only to be disappointed when the other goombas don’t know the lines. The ensemble cast is diverse and dysfunctional, and the wedding from hell is constantly interrupted by people who need to be killed. I loved it.
Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold
This is an intelligent science fiction story paired with a refreshingly mature romance, and it was written almost 25 years ago. It just goes to show that it’s a mistake to always be chasing the latest, newest books. I can’t even think of a recent sci-fi story that manages to combine all the elements I found here. It’s a romance and an adventure, to be sure, but that doesn’t begin to describe the complex concepts that are deftly woven into the plot. Ideas like honor and mercy, the politics behind war, psychology, and nationalism are all explored. This sounds like an epic, doesn’t it? The whole story takes place in just 225 pages! It’s deceptively simple and absolutely amazing.
Prime Time by Hank Phillippi Ryan
It’s hard not to like Charlie. She’s married to her job, and it’s ironic that her impressive expertise is turning into a negative mark against her. At 46 she’s pushing the magical demographic boundary, 18-49, that is targeted by all advertisers, and thus by all TV stations hungry for commercial sales. She buys miracle eye-creams, she scrupulously avoids carbs, and she has a savings account just for future plastic surgery needs. Charlie is no dummy, and she knows that looks matter when it comes to TV news.
Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold
Paladin of Souls is a big, meaty fantasy story that was full of surprises and unconventional characters. Take the heroine, the Dowager Royina Ista, a 40-year-old woman who thinks of herself as ‘dull’ and ‘drab.’ Her life has been filled with tragedy, madness, and death; almost everyone she loves has died, and she’s living a closeted, meaningless life. The personal and physical journey she takes between the beginning and the end is just the kind of adventure I was hoping to find. It was full of mystery, danger, and love. As a woman past her youth, but not her prime, Ista was sensitive and wise in ways that no young woman can ever be.
Drawing in the Dust by Zoe Klein
Page Brookstone is a fully fleshed character, and at the ripe age of forty she’s built an impressive career as an archeologist and biblical scholar. Her relationship with her boss and mentor is on the skids, and Page sees an opportunity to escape the awkwardness when an Arab couple finds a cistern beneath their home. This couple has been mocked by every reputable archeologist in Israel, because they insist their house is haunted by spectral lovers. Page isn’t buying the ghost stories, but the cistern soon proves to be a treasure trove of Tutankhamun proportions.
*This does not include immortal characters, such as vampires, werewolves or androids. I’m only including real, flesh and blood women here.
I’d love to find more books like these. If you’ve read a story with a mature female heroine, tell me about it. I’m especially interested in stories with a romance, because we don’t just dry up and blow away after 35.
